Nicole’s husband calls her the Martyr of Time but like most working moms, she protests, “I don’t have time, Robert. I really. don’t. have. time!”
Nicole does understand that her husband misses time with the kids. He works long hours and needs to bring work home as well.
While Nicole feels blessed to have so much time with her kids, she lacks time for self-care, her own work, for friends, for romantic time. Trying to balance being there for everyone in her life with time for herself and her business, “a craft that I enjoy doing” feels like trying to solve a puzzle.
Robert agrees that it’s a totally different equation for the stay-at-home-parent to balance all of that. Not to mention, women who hold down part-time and full-time jobs.
In Nicole’s words, balancing “the housework and the activities and the transportation and having snacks ready for the activities and we still have to get homework done…. The amount of guilt and anxiety and stress that I feel over my lack of time? I know that a woman who works out of the home must feel that tenfold.”
From the dad’s perspective, Robert admits that he used to store away, hold back, little pockets of time that he felt like he needed to keep himself from drowning. Now he recognizes that his wife didn’t even have that option.
She asked, “Do men have an easier time saying, ‘I need this right now. I’m going to take this time for myself’?”
She jokes about men taking 45 minutes in the bathroom. “Maybe it’s as simple as saying, ‘I need to. I need to take 45 minutes if I want.’ But Moms would find a way to do it with a baby on her lap. Or do it with the door open so she can hear the screaming kids.”
In today’s episode of the ‘I Am The Worst Parent Ever’ podcast, we dare to ask the question whether moms or dads have less time.
— mind reading
— making sure everyone is OK
— beating yourself up over taking time for your self
— all-or-nothing thinking
— panic attacks
…and how taking time out for something that is stress-reducing like exercise or meditation can expand the time you have.
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