available on iTunes, stitcher & Soundcloud
Nicole is NOT “the fun one” in her house and she’s only half embarrassed to admit it. Robert may not think of himself as the more jovial parent in his home, but he can tell you that his #dadjokes make his kids groan.
In most (definitely not all) households, dads get the pleasure and benefit of being the family’s joy-maker. So why are moms so serious? Are we weighed down by the infamous ‘mental load’? Is it fear of outside judgment? Are we fueled by our innate or self-developed anxiety? And what should moms do about it? In this episode of ‘I Am The Worst Parent Ever’ podcast, Robert and Nicole discuss how both partners can bring their authentic personalities to the table. That way, their children get to view and feed at the full “life buffet.” A family is like a machine. To work, it needs all its parts. Sure, it would be great to be the fun one, to be able to play all the time, to lose ourselves in the moment with our loved ones. We admire parents who can put their expectations, worries, and fears aside with a presence of mind and a grateful heart. BUT it’s also impressive to be the selfless one who will “take one for the team” even if we are a bit more rigid and schedule-driven. Our children need both of us, the fun one and the not fun one. They will encounter both types of people outside of the home. One day you may be the fun one and the next day you won’t be. Nicole and Robert take solace in knowing that their roles may be fluid. But, guess what? Your children will always need you no matter what.
0 Comments
Where do you see your kids grow up? More often than not, it’s in the rear view of your messy, smelly, overly-kidified dad- or mom-mobile.
And, what is it that you see? So much time flippin' past. So much growth happening on the daily. They go from car seat to booster overnight and, soon enough, you’ll be handing your daughter the keys. Milestones pass every day and new ones pop up in their place, mileage markers along the road from childhood to the teen years and beyond. Babies don’t know what markers to reach for but eventually become acutely aware of our expectations for the milestones they should be passing. Tweens start to make their own predictions for what they want to achieve. You start giving up control over the course of their lives. Before you know it, your teen is determined to meet his own milestones. And before they know it, he has teachers, bosses, co-workers, and romantic interests all providing their own list of milestones. How do you adjust to the fact that your kids are growing up? How do you stay engaged as you shift from their driver to co-traveler? You can’t exit the car just because you aren’t driving. No matter what comes, you never feel prepared. It’s about putting in the work every day. In this episode of ‘I Am The Worst Parent Ever’ podcast, Robert and Nicole discuss life transitions and the emotions we work through. Perfectionism -- Is it really your fault? Maybe you’re a perfectionist because you just have too many demands to handle. You don’t do enough to take care of yourself. Who could? You just don’t have the time to achieve “balance.”
Nicole admits that she could do more to balance out her perfectionism, like taking up mindfulness or learning to meditate. She looks to people like Robert as an example of someone who uses self-care including meditation to balance his perfectionistic tendencies. For Nicole to be as close to the "perfect" wife, mom, daughter, friend, business owner, etc. as she needs, she admits that she mostly operates in "fake it ‘til you make it" mode. In this episode of 'I Am the Worst Parent Ever' podcast, Robert and Nicole talk about feeling like imposters themselves. Your lizard brain can get in your way as a parent, a spouse, an employee, etc. and faking it, is merely a way to push through your fear, take risks, and tell your lizard brain, "not today, buddy." The pressure can get insane. You may be asking, what about "winging it" or "flying by the seat of your pants"? Is that the same as "faking it?" Not exactly… Nicole has gone out on a limb with her article, “I Want You to Fake It.” When you pretend to have more energy than you do or to be kinder than you feel, faking it can actually make you more energetic or kind in the moment. Citing Alexander Spradlin’s Psychology Today article “Fake It ‘Til You Make It,” Nicole suggests that successful people hold a “strong belief in themselves that allows them to persist in the face of failure and to keep trying, no matter their level of fear.” These successful individuals “have an internal drive that tells them that they can succeed, that they have the ability to handle whatever comes their way.” There's a difference between faking it and living a lie, and working towards self-improvement and betterment. Can you say with confidence "I believe I am capable of raising a human being"? How can you choose to become that parent? |
Is this podcast for you?Have you ever said, Archives
March 2019
Categories |